Trying to be Strong

I am having alot of trouble today. I don't know what to think or feel. I know that my dad had very high cholesterol and that this shouldn't come as a complete shock to me, but I feel like I have been hit with a ton of bricks. Why him? There are other people whom I feel could very well be in his place yet they are not. Its not death that scares me because it is a part of life's cycle. It's the fact that in order to live, we must face these awful obsticles. The thought of dad being cut into and wide open, placing his heart and faith in the hands of someone who is literally playing god, makes me scared out of my mind for him. I don't want him to have any pain or be afraid. He is my Dad. He is supposed to be the strongest person I know. I just don't want to think about what he is going to have to go through and what he is going through right now. Tommorrow is going to be the hardest day of my life!

Sleep Eating

So I have come to the conclusion that I have a serious problem I call sleep eating. I will wake up in the middle of the night, around 2 am and find myself in the pantry. Then I am back in my bed putting a chip in my mouth. I am not even half awake when I am doing it and its so weird. I am asleep and I am chewing. Then I am grabbing for another chip. Why am I so hungry in the middle of the night that I sleep walk and eat? I know its bad to eat in bed but I can't control myself when I am sleeping. Plus I sleep with the tv on and I think all those subliminal messages are getting in my head and going to my stomach. I guess I will have to start locking the pantry on myself so that in my sleep I give up when I can't get the door opened.

Handy Man

So last weekend my husband got this epiphany. He was replacing the light in the kitchen and decided that the cupboards cast too many shadows on the counters. Being an electrician he decided we needed under cabinet lighting. So we headed of to Lowes to look at the lights and on Sunday he decided he was gonna do it. I was thinking, Oh no this is gonna be one of those things that will cost a bunch of money and then never get finished. We bought all the stuff he would need and he started on it. He got only half way done and then the weekend was over and he had to put it off until the next weekend. The weekend started and we got a new fridge delivered which ended up being to tall for the cabinet so Darin came over and they pulled down the cabinet so the fridge could fit. Then Brandon got started right away on his project. Its so great to see my husband doing something around the house that has a great outcome and gives him a sense of pride in himself for accomplishing something he never would have dreamed of trying. I went shopping for the Super Bowl and when I came back. he not only had transfered all the food into the new fridge but he was finished with his project. I have to admit, it makes the kitchen look much more appealing and relaxing. So he added some decor to our kitchen in 2 weekends. Great job Brandon. I love you!

Culinary Greatness

I have decided, in my attempt to further educate myself on the many delicious wonders of the Culinary world, that I would start to share with you all, my knowledge of the art. In doing so I feel it would be very beneficial to all, to share some recipes I have found to be very note worthy.
Also as I learn things about cooking that I , the average housewife didn't know, some of which are very interesting, I will share them with you as well. Here are my facts for the day:

#1 Salt does not absorb into any liquid. It can not be cooked out of anything or covered by numerous ingredients if too much salt has been added to a recipe. Therefore it is best to salt your foods in their final cooking steps to ensure proper seasoning. If for some strange reason you have accidentally over salted a recipe the only true way to rectify your dish is to throw it away, and get the kids Happy Meals for dinner.

#2 Temperature of a food greatly affects the flavor of the food. If you are one of those people who loves their food piping hot, you are missing out on the true taste of the food. So don't run back to the microwave to nuke something because it is only warm, eat it that way and you will taste the flavor in the food much better. Now to the cold side. I am too one of those people who piles the ice into my glass before I pour the soda in it. But I have learned that when I take a sip of a can of Dr. Pepper that has been sitting out at room temperature I can taste the flavor in the soda more then when its ice cold. So even though I found it greatly annoying when someone would order a soda with no ice, I do see a valid point in doing so. I can't stress though that you must heat hot foods to the proper temperature to ensure food safety and keep cold foods cold. I don't want anyone getting food poisoning at my expense.

Those were my two boring facts for this blog. Now let me move on to the recipe.

Triple Decker Sandwich.
I know you have all seen it on any sit down lunch menu and maybe you thought it looked good and maybe you were like me and said to yourself, " I can make a sandwich at home anyday."
Last week in class my chapter was sandwiches. I read the chapter, saw the recipe for the sandwich, and decided to make it rather then a BLT which I have made tons of times in my life.
As I was making it I thought its a sandwich, no big deal right. It was only after I assembled it, cut it in half and took my very first bite of it, did I find why this kind of sandwich would even be sold at a restaurant. I truly believe now that whoever thought up this Culinary Creation, was well educated in the arts of food and flavors. Not only is this sandwich delicious, it is also very appealing to the eye, and very filling to the stomach. The creator of this dish was truly a Culinary Genius.

First now how many sandwiches you need to make and get the proper quantities of ingredients. Waste not want not. This recipe is for one sandwich.

3 pieces of bread, any kind of bread but I find that honey wheat bread compliments the fillings better then just plain old white bread plus its much healthier.

1 slice of provolone cheese
1 slice of Cheddar cheese
2 strips of bacon cut in half
1 slice of deli sliced turkey
2-4 slices or tomato depending on the type of tomato used
2 sandwich size pieces or Romaine Lettuce ( Romaine has a much better flavor and its must crispier then Iceberg. Its well worth the extra money it costs to purchase and its excellent in salads.)
Mayo, Mustard and Margarine

First, preheat oven to 425 degrees. Place bacon strips on a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper. Bake for 10-15 minutes depending on desired doneness. Flip bacon halfway through cooking time. Remove, place on a plate lined with a paper towel to absorb the grease and pat it. Cool and cut into 4 strips.
Heat a griddle to medium heat, butter the bread slices and toast bread on both sides, remove from heat.
Place the first piece of bread on a cutting board and add the mayo and mustard.
Place the Cheddar cheese slice on the bread then the 4 pieces of bacon, tomato and lettuce.
Spread the mayo on the next slice of bread on both sides and place on top of the lettuce.
Add the turkey to the bread, then the Provolone cheese, tomato and lettuce.
Spread mayo and mustard on last slice of bread and place on top of lettuce.
Cut the sandwich in half diagonally. Serve on a plate with sandwich opened to display the artistic look of it. Bon Appetite.
Its may seem like this is alot of work for a sandwich but I promise it will be well worth your efforts. If I can get one person to skip the drive thru and try this out, I will have succeeded in effectively contributing to society. Check back again for more!!

Let me just take a second....

Well I have a few little thoughts to share with you on the things I feel blessed to have in my life.
First off, I like doing the catering at the school. Its not boring work. I am always doing something new and I actually get to prepare meals that are going to be consumed by people.
The cool thing about this is that I get to make things at school that I have never made before and I usually make them well. It really makes me feel good to know that the food I make taste good enough for my teacher/boss to trust me to make other things for catering, even though I don't hear any feed back from the consumers. She told me the other day how excellent of a job I am doing and how much weight I have taken off her shoulders. Especially because she hired me to get everything mis en plase and take it to the rooms it is supposed to go to and then clean it up. But I am going above that because unlike her last catering assistant, I can also cook. Well some what. The only thing is is that I don't feel I am really taking much stress from my teachers hands. Thats how I am. So afraid of failure , I try to take on so much to make everyone else load lighter that I just end up with a load heavier then I can carry. I just have to think about all the stuff I do each day and know that if I wasn't there to do it, she would have to. The sad thing about it is that is not enough money. I can only work at a max of 15 hours a week unless there is catering after school hours and on the weekends and even then its not enough. There are other people that work at the school as well as me who spend a lot of time sitting on their butts and not cleaning there stuff up which really inferates me because they get paid the same as me but I work twice as hard. I hardly stop to eat, or even go to the bathroom and yet they just sit on there butts while there is dishes to be done. By the end of class I am so tired and I only worked for 5 hours. I really wish I could train myself to go to bed earlier and wake up earlier so that I can have a least an hour of the day to myself. I saw Kari sitting on her couch the other morning, kids at school, Domi sleeping. She was relaxing and reading a book. I was envious of her at that moment.
Well on the kid news. Kirsten is cutting two teeth on the top. Whitney is turning 9 on Saturday. Zack had his first basketball practice today and he is undoubtably, the shortest and cutest kid on his team. They next to shortest has a head on him still. Don't know what good being short will do in bball? He was having fun anyway though. Well I need to get the kids in bed and reheat some leftovers for Brandon before he gets home from school. There's my new and probably super exciting blog!
Love ya!!

This is life

So I finally decided to get my own blog for my friends and family to keep an eye on me. Let me start out by introducing myself. Hi, My Name is Vicki. I grew up in Woodland California where I spend most of my time in the Woodland High School Theatre Department. After High School I moved to Utah for a little while, but eventually moved back to Woodland. Then I met this guy whom I thought was amazing via an aol chatroom. He lived in Orange County so I foolishly took a gamble and moved to the O.C. That's where my life took an uncharted road. It turns out that this guy was an irresponsible jerk so after only 3 months I found myself back at my moms in Woodland and 2 months pregnant.

It was a very rocky 9 months. The emotional roller coaster I was on was so intense, my happiness and depression would change in an instant. I didn't know what was going to happen. One day I would get love letters and then the next something more on the lines of and I quote "I want to be there for my child, just not there for you." Fortunately for me I had tons and tons of supportive friends and family that got me through those breaking dishes, slapping siblings, very hard 9 months. I am so grateful for there help and support even though there were times I was out of control.

Rounding the end of the coaster it was finally decided that this guy was really gonna be there when this baby was born, but after being released from his so called "prison" was off like a dirty shirt and no where to be found. That was pretty much the end of that roller coaster. I think I might try out a nice merry go round.

My sister, who abandoned me as well and move to Utah my senior year in High School, had won the heart of a few boys in her school but particularly one boy. This boy, lets just call him Brandon, had a crush I guess you could say on my sister. I think it was one of those things where the boy would do anything for you at the drop of the hat just to be with you kind of thing. They ended up going to the Senior Prom together, only as friends of course since Brandon's best friend happen to be my sisters current boyfriend. Don't ask me, that's my sisters story.

We drove to Utah for Kari's high school graduation and although they were in the band together, I never met Brandon. Then not even a week later, Kari came home, To Woodland Ca that is for a visit. She brought along a few friends for there little we graduate trip. Brandon was one those friends. You would think that I living there in my mothers house would in fact have no choice but to meet this boy as is was we were staying in the same household, but the day before they got here, I had abandoned my sister and took my other little sister, Cristina who was about 8 at the time on her very first trip to Disneyland. This was not only a trip to Disneyland, but also an excuse to go visit the irresponsible jerk that I have left only a few weeks earlier in "The O.C." So on this second occasion I did not meet this boy either.

After my roller coaster ending 6 months later, I was finally beginning to understand that I, was going to be a single mother. Kari who still lived in Utah came home to be there with me when I delivered the baby. But she had to get here some how and didn't have a car so her friend, who just wanted to spend time with her I guess, dropped everything and drove her to California. We all now at that time I was not going anywhere so I did in fact meet Brandon. He was a nice boy, not a looker in my eyes at the time, but what did I care. During those last weeks of waiting for this baby to come out we hung out alot. He pretty much did whatever I needed. If I said go get me bagels and pickles in the middle of the night, he did it. This was fun. I didn't have this before so I was going to take advantage of it. We even joked with him, in our impatience that a certain act, would induce labor and we needed a willing participant. With Kari and Brandon there with me those last few days, I was not depressed and lonely anymore. I needed the laughter that they brought with them.

We had gotten word that our Grandpa, who lived in Utah was nearing the end of his life and that any day, we would have to drive to Utah for his funeral. We couldn't wait any longer, I had to get this baby out. I went in for a visit and told the midwife of the dilemma we were facing and she thankfully said that I could come in the next morning and be induced. Hooray, I was not going to be pregnant anymore. That night I could not sleep at all. Labor had been my worst fear ever since the 5th grade when they taught us about the birds and the bees. I couldn't get past the fear. Truthfully I resented it because of my circumstances with it's father.

Morning came and we arrived at the hospital at 7 am and got situated in a birthing room. At 8 am the midwife came in and broke my water. She said that if I wasn't doing anything by 11 am she would give me the pit. Whitney was born at 10:59 am. In the mid afternoon, after passing out once on toilet and once in a wheelchair back from the toilet, Kari announced that she had to leave to go back to Utah. My #1 support was leaving me again!! For some strange reason I was more distraught over Brandon leaving me, then my own sister. I hugged them both and then they were gone.

Only a few weeks after did we leave for Utah. This time, I had a friend for the ride. I was so excited about this friend. I had grown up with her and we were like peas and carrots...wait that is not a good analogy. More like pancakes and sryup. Then our parents decided to rip us apart and we moved far far away. She was in beauty school and I wanted my hair dyed blonde so we took a crack at it and got umm...orange instead. Everyone loved that, especially my grandma who wanted a picture of our 5 generations, since I had the first grand child. It was awesome to have Jackie in the car with me for that trip but sad why we took it in the first place.

Now, back to Brandon. He lived in Northern Utah and the Funeral was in the very most South of Utah. About a 5 hour drive. He knew that we were going to be in Utah however and decided that he was going to skip work for a few days and drive the 5 hours to see us. That is the baby and I. Kari lived in Southern Utah already because she was attending to my grandfather for a while and was living in St. George at Dixie College at the time. This is the experience that change everything.

He arrived at my grandmas house very early in the morning. Not wanting to wake anyone up, he slept outside in his car. In the middle of winter. When someone discovered him in his car they knocked on the window and ask him what he was doing. I don't know all the details about that but I do know that Kari was furious and embarrased that this boy who everyone said was whooped on her, drove all the way to Southern Utah to attend a funeral of someone he never met. But they all welcomed him with open arms anyway.

On the night after the funeral my father decided to get a motel room and sleep instead of drive back to California in the middle of the night. They didn't want Brandon to drive all night either so offered for him to stay in the room where the boys, Justin, and Shawn were sleeping. I was to sleep in the room next door but being 20 years old, I wasn't about to sleep with mommy and daddy so I snuck over to the room next door.

Brandon and I talked all night until we eventually fell asleep with 2 week old Whitney right in between us. He admits to me that he would try to hold my hand during the night like boys did in elementary school, but I don't think he ever got the courage to do it. It was the coolest feeling ever. I left the next day with this feeling I had never felt before. A connection that felt so intense, I knew that everything after that night was going to be alright.

Once back to our homes, Brandon and I started to email eachother 3 times a day. We even made im dates and just chatted, or typed back and forth to eachother. We were dating as you could say, only we were using the internet as our movie theatre.
We had good conversations and it was through those conversations that I realized I loved this boy. It is so much easier to express yourself in letters then talking and especially for boys. He had given up on my super cute sister and moved to me. Thats how it always was though so I was used to it. Kari has the most awesome personality. Its hard to not love her.

I wanted to take Whitney to Orange County that the jerks family could see her and I very well could have taken a bus, but Brandon drove 10 hours from Utah only to drive 8 hours to Southern California to take me there. Brandon, Ricci, who was my rock until Brandon came along, and I set out for Southern Cali. It was a fun trip and lets just say, only brought us closer, but we had to go home, and so did Brandon. Back to Utah.

Then he made a huge sacrfice and left his family and friends to move to California. This way we could date for real and see if our relationship was really going to go anywhere. And it did.
It was only a few months after he move that we decided to get get married. We had planned on having a summmer wedding, but after a lot or trips to the Er, it was determined that I needed my Gall Bladder out. This was worse then having a baby!! We finally got married on October the 8th 1999. Just 10 months after we met. We lived in Woodland as The Andersons' for only a few months and in the early spring of 2000 moved to Utah. With no jobs and no place of our own. We lived with Kari and Darin , whom Kari had recently married, in a very small basement apartment. Like all newly weds, we fought, which was very bad because Kari was very pregnant with Damon and I know it was a nightmare for her.

But we did gets jobs and our own place and then our own, non rent place and so on. Its been 8 years now and although we have had rough times, we love eachother and we love Utah. In the past 8 years, we have moved 10 times, had 3 more kids, bought a house, sold a house, remodeled a condo, change career paths, and started attending college. Brandon an Electrical program and I, Culinary Arts.

I didn't mean for this to be a novel, but I think recapping your memories and the paths you take to get where you are, helps you be thankful for all that you have and reminds you of why youmade the choices that did. Seeing that tomorrow is Thanksgiving, I am realizing that I do in fact have a lot to be thankful for. Thanks for reading about my journey. I promise the next one will be much shorter. Happy Thanksgiving Everybody!