Learning how to live

As we approach the middle of the year, there is a certain dreaded date that is creeping its way into my life. That's right, The Big 30. The Big 30 means much more to me then just that fact that I am unavoidably getting older. It also means, that as I have manage in my life to stay at a good weight for height, turning 30 means I am really gonna have to start taking better care of myself . Mostly this feeling is brought on mainly by the fact that my dad did indeed just have Major Open Heart Surgery. I know that I have really never been to concerned about what I put in my mouth, but now more than ever I am starting to realize I should be. I have decided that the only way to tackle the inevitable, is to take baby steps to improve myself.

My first goal in life is to eliminate all carbonated beverages. That's right Dr. Pepper. You shall not pass these lips any more. I have tried and tried and tried to tackle this one many times but it is a very hard habit to break. I am mostly trying to focus on not so much as not drinking soda, but to drink more water instead. I find that if a carry a water bottle with me everywhere I go, I am much more inclined to drink it then to go out of my way to get a soda. And aside from a few drops or Brandon's Sprite at the Jazz game last night, since I did not want to spend 3 dollars and a 16 oz bottle of Dasani, I have not drank any soda and instead have been drinking 60 oz of water a day. For 6 days!! This is huge for me. I have D.P in my fridge, but have not grabbed for it.

My next goal to tackle will have to be deep fried foods. This one is gonna be a little more tricky because I am not to sure what to carry around with me to beat out the cravings for French Fries. Maybe carrots sticks?

Trying to be Strong

I am having alot of trouble today. I don't know what to think or feel. I know that my dad had very high cholesterol and that this shouldn't come as a complete shock to me, but I feel like I have been hit with a ton of bricks. Why him? There are other people whom I feel could very well be in his place yet they are not. Its not death that scares me because it is a part of life's cycle. It's the fact that in order to live, we must face these awful obsticles. The thought of dad being cut into and wide open, placing his heart and faith in the hands of someone who is literally playing god, makes me scared out of my mind for him. I don't want him to have any pain or be afraid. He is my Dad. He is supposed to be the strongest person I know. I just don't want to think about what he is going to have to go through and what he is going through right now. Tommorrow is going to be the hardest day of my life!